domingo, 12 de febrero de 2012
Discit
This is also why, when men come into our live who are interested in our well-being and in our happiness and fulfillment, and who present the genuine possibility of a healthy relationship, we usually are not interested. And make no mistake: these kinds of men do come into our lives. Each of my clients who has loved too much has been able to recall at least one, often several, men whom she has described wistfully as "reall nice...so kind...actually cared about me..." Then usually comes the ironic smile and the question, "Now why didn't I stick with him?... I guess he was too nice huh?"
A better answer would be that his actions and our reactions... didn't mesh into a perfect duet. Although being in his company migh be pleasant, soothing, interesting and affirming, it is difficult for us to regard this kind of relationship as important and worth developing on a more serious level. Instead, such a man has usually been either quickly dropped or ignored, or at best regulated to the "just a friend" category, because he failed to arouse in use the heart pounding and stomach knotting we have come to call love..... what should feel good has come to feel foreign, suspect and uncomfortable. We have learned, by long and close association, to prefer the pain. A more healthy, loving man cannot play an important part in our life until we learn to let go of the need to relive the old struggle again and
A better answer would be that his actions and our reactions... didn't mesh into a perfect duet. Although being in his company migh be pleasant, soothing, interesting and affirming, it is difficult for us to regard this kind of relationship as important and worth developing on a more serious level. Instead, such a man has usually been either quickly dropped or ignored, or at best regulated to the "just a friend" category, because he failed to arouse in use the heart pounding and stomach knotting we have come to call love..... what should feel good has come to feel foreign, suspect and uncomfortable. We have learned, by long and close association, to prefer the pain. A more healthy, loving man cannot play an important part in our life until we learn to let go of the need to relive the old struggle again and
Discit
This is also why, when men come into our live who are interested in our well-being and in our happiness and fulfillment, and who present the genuine possibility of a healthy relationship, we usually are not interested. And make no mistake: these kinds of men do come into our lives. Each of my clients who has loved too much has been able to recall at least one, often several, men whom she has described wistfully as "reall nice...so kind...actually cared about me..." Then usually comes the ironic smile and the question, "Now why didn't I stick with him?... I guess he was too nice huh?"
A better answer would be that his actions and our reactions... didn't mesh into a perfect duet. Although being in his company migh be pleasant, soothing, interesting and affirming, it is difficult for us to regard this kind of relationship as important and worth developing on a more serious level. Instead, such a man has usually been either quickly dropped or ignored, or at best regulated to the "just a friend" category, because he failed to arouse in use the heart pounding and stomach knotting we have come to call love..... what should feel good has come to feel foreign, suspect and uncomfortable. We have learned, by long and close association, to prefer the pain. A more healthy, loving man cannot play an important part in our life until we learn to let go of the need to relive the old struggle again and
A better answer would be that his actions and our reactions... didn't mesh into a perfect duet. Although being in his company migh be pleasant, soothing, interesting and affirming, it is difficult for us to regard this kind of relationship as important and worth developing on a more serious level. Instead, such a man has usually been either quickly dropped or ignored, or at best regulated to the "just a friend" category, because he failed to arouse in use the heart pounding and stomach knotting we have come to call love..... what should feel good has come to feel foreign, suspect and uncomfortable. We have learned, by long and close association, to prefer the pain. A more healthy, loving man cannot play an important part in our life until we learn to let go of the need to relive the old struggle again and
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